


Bondage and Discipline Dos and Don'ts or Ten Things Kurt Hummel Will Never Do Again

by cinder1013



Category: Glee
Genre: BDSM, Blood, Bondage, Breathplay, Gags, M/M, Vacuum Pump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 10:08:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinder1013/pseuds/cinder1013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine have been playing with bondage and bdsm for a little while. This is Kurt’s collection of things that have gone wrong. Terribly, horribly, often hysterically wrong. (Well, it was funny later.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bondage and Discipline Dos and Don'ts or Ten Things Kurt Hummel Will Never Do Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is beta’d by the ever incredible Chrystal. 
> 
> The situations here are taken from true stories from our lives. Please remember to play safely, never use ballgags in a downward incline, don’t mix alcohol and play, and always lock the bedroom door.

**Number One:**

“Blaine!”

“What?” 

“Omg! Look at this! Look at it! Concealer is not covering this!” Kurt pointed to his face, but Blaine mistakes it for Kurt pointing out the bruises on his neck. Kurt always bruised easily and, from experience, Blaine knew he could cover strangulation marks with a scarf. 

“Uh...”

“My face, Blaine!” 

“Whoah, when’d you grow freckles? And they’re red.” Blaine was puzzled. Could freckles spontaneously appear on someone’s skin overnight and … red? It was like a spontaneous Weasley. Blaine tried not to smile, but he knew he hadn't tried hard enough when Kurt's gaze narrowed. 

“You squeezed too hard and some capillaries in my facial skin broke.” 

Blaine smirked. “Yeah, but you loved it.” 

**Number Two:**

Blaine is fucking Kurt hard when he looks down, intending to watch his dick slide in and out of Kurt’s tight ass, but his eyes slide over Kurt’s stomach getting there. Kurt’s red splotched, hive covered stomach. 

Reluctantly, he pulls out. 

“Fuck, Blaine! What the hell?” 

“Look.” He points. 

“Oh, huh? What’s that?” 

“Hives.” 

“From what?” 

“I think you’re allergic to the condom.” 

“Allergic to the … oh, Gaga, help me now.” Kurt’s head flops back onto the pillow.

“I’ll go get the Benedryl.” 

**Number Three:**

“Umm...” Blaine sheepishly handed Kurt back his bracelet, the new Channel one made from fabric swatches, remnants of fabric used to make the fall line. It was ruined, cum and lube splattered all over it. And possibly other santorum. Not that he and Kurt would ever discuss that!

“My new bracelet,” Kurt whispered.

“I was just groping for something to use as a cock ring and -”

“My new bracelet!” 

Blaine knew he was sooo sleeping on the couch tonight.

**Number Four:**

When in a descending incline position, ball gags are fine, Kurt thinks, right up until catharsis hits him like a brick wall and he starts crying. Breathing would be good, if only he could. His nose is filled with undignified snot and he’s blubbering like a baby, struggling to breath and unable. 

Blaine finally realizes something is wrong and unties his hands. Kurt rips off the gag and drags a huge, sweet breath into his lungs. 

**Number Five:**

If it pinches, that’s a bad thing. Kurt learned the hard way that drinking and vacuum pumps do not mix. 

There’s blood everywhere and they both freak out, but Kurt refuses to go to the emergency room. “Can you even imagine trying to explain to the nurse what happened? I’d die of embarrassment.”

“What if you die of this?” Blaine asked, wringing his hands. He’s really worried. It’s a lot of blood. 

“I won’t die,” Kurt assures him, and sure enough he doesn’t, but the bleeding doesn’t stop for three days. The worst part is, he feels like he’s mutilated. There’s a scar along the base of his dick. Blaine is just grateful beyond measure that he’s all right even if the couch and the mattress are ruined. 

Kurt throws out the vacuum pump so he doesn’t have to look at it again. 

**Number Six:**

Kurt hummed to himself as he prepared for a day at the beach. This trip to Key West was proving to be the perfect thing for unwinding. He'd woken up this morning sore from being well loved. Blaine had spanked him, tied him down, and then fucked him so hard Kurt was sure he'd reached his soul. Now he was preparing for a day lounging in a beach chair while reading a scandalous novel, shaded by a nice big umbrella. 

Smiling, he checked himself in the mirror to see how he looked in his new shorts. "Oh my Gaga!" 

"What is it?" Blaine skidded into the room, his socks sliding across the wood floor. "Oh."

"Oh? That's all you can say, Blaine? Oh?" Kurt's eyes were spitting fire. Across his thighs and over his hip bones were dark purple bruises. 

"I, uh, well, you bruise easily. You enjoyed it at the time!" He wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, his fingers pressing into the hip bruises. "Look at it this way. It's an excuse to stay in." 

**Number Seven:**

“Ow, ow, OWW!” Kurt screamed. 

Blaine stopped pulling the duct tape from Kurt’s ankles. He thought the scene had gone fairly well, but it was over now. “What’s wrong? What did I do? How can I help?”

“You’re pulling my leg hairs out.”

Blaine chuckled. He knew he shouldn’t, but he did. “Have you considered shaving before you suggest using tape?”

Kurt glared at him.

**Number Eight:**

There are some things that Kurt should have thought through more thoroughly like that time he and Blaine thought that it would be fine to play with electrical tape as a gag. 

“Ow, ow. Look at my lip. It’s like … I look like a sad clown,” Kurt complained, looking in the mirror. “That’s it, we are getting real bondage tape.” He thought about that for a moment. “Or use a ball gag.”

Putting his arms around Kurt, Blaine smiled at him in the mirror. “I thought you didn’t like ball gags anymore after the trauma of the not breathing experience.” 

“Just tie me on my back next time.” 

Blaine moaned thinking about next time, dropping his forehead onto Kurt’s shoulder. 

**Number Nine:**

“Shit!” Blaine hit the brakes and pulled over to the side of the road. 

“What?” Kurt looked up from Blaine’s lap, his lips wet and swollen. 

“You knocked the car out of gear.” 

Kurt looked down. Sure enough, he’d hit the gear shift with his elbow while they were traveling 80 miles per hour down an interstate highway. “Oops.” 

“It’s all right. I shouldn’t have let you do this.” 

“Since we’re stopped anyway, want me to finish?” 

“I think the near death experience pretty much killed the mood.” 

“Your hard dick would beg to differ, Sir.” Smirking, he went down on his boyfriend again. Blaine put the car in park and eased his seat back a little to give Kurt room to work. _If an officer pulls up to see what’s wrong, Blaine thought, I’ll just say, ‘a dead man couldn’t turn this down.’_

**Number Ten:**

The doorbell rang. 

“Oh, god, your father is coming today!” Hopping off the bed, Blaine rushed to find his pants. 

“Blaine!” 

“Hold on!” 

“I am naked and tied to the bed! For the love of Coco and Channel, let me loose!” 

“Oh, right.” Blaine hopped over, trying to put on his pants as he did so and tripping over himself. Ignoring the pants for a moment, he let one of Kurt’s wrists loose. “That good?”

“Yes, I’ve got it from here.” Freeing himself, he grabbed a pair of pants from the floor and pulled them on. “These are yours, Blaine.” 

The doorbell rang again.

“No time for that now!” Blaine ran, tripping on the long legs of Kurt’s pants - which, yes, he was wearing - and grabbing for the banister before he fell headlong down the stairs. Finally, he made it to the front door and opened it. “Oh, hello, Mr. Hummel.” 

“Blaine. Nice to see you.” 

“What a nice day it is, isn’t it? Sunshine, flowers, blue birds and things.” Blaine grinned an outrageously fake smile. 

“Nice, yes.” Burt looked around, obviously trying to figure out if psychiatric help was needed. Deciding to plow on without reinforcements in white coats, he asked, “Mind if I come in?”

“Oh, uh...” 

“Please, come in Dad,” Kurt called out from behind Blaine. 

“Oh, yes, come in.” Standing aside, Blaine allowed Mr. Hummel in the door. Looking behind him, Blaine had to admit he was impressed. Kurt was dressed well in his own pants, albeit without socks or boots, and his hair was even in some kind of reasonable order. 

Mr. Hummel gave Kurt a big hug. That’s when Kurt’s eyes opened wide. Trying to be sneaky, he pointed across the room at Blaine. 

“Me?” Blaine mouthed, pointing to himself. Kurt kept pointing. So, it was something behind him maybe. Blaine looked around. Nothing seemed out of place. Shoes in front of the couch, maybe? The dvds out on the coffee table? They weren’t porn, although they were a little raunchy. Blaine grabbed them and stuffed them under a couch cushion. Smiling, he turned back to his boyfriend. Kurt shook his head, clearly exasperated. Blaine turned around, looking again. 

Oh!

Grabbing the rather large butt plug off of the side table, he tossed it behind the sofa. Grinning, he turned back around. 

“So, Son, is that the sofa we were going to move?” 

“You know, Dad, I suddenly don’t feel like moving a sofa today.”


End file.
